It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
