STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
