Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
