i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
