I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
