nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
