the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
