guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
