omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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