That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
