How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
