16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
