Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
