It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
