I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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