He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Come on in and take your pants off
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