Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
