proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
