You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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