A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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