is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
