He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What a dumb baby whore.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
