This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
