puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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