I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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