oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
false alarm, still single
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
