I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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