and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
