Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Randomize
