i just google imaged poop.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
