Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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