didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
