I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
smell my finger.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
