So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
