playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
