She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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