Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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