I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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