I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
