i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
