I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
