West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
