Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
only you would photoshop your dick
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
