Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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