we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
