It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
