My friends, they love my intelligence
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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