he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
