Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
