Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
